| "My Time" personal reflections 2006 Archives |
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DECEMBER '06
Last Day of the year... and I wish everyone a wonderful 2007 in advance! I also want to especially thank the people in my life who
have shared their heart with me this year - my FRIENDS (new and old) and FAMILY. And to those whom we've parted ways, I wish you
happiness always. It's true that I struggle along at times with emotional imbalances; yet, In the middle of all this crap that I construe is
perhaps a truth - a more honest and open way of life that I must deal with - that I must come to terms with...... that I must pursue and
welcome; if I am to enjoy this life.
Where am I? Not quite sure - really... hummm...
I am now gainfully employeed * I feel "elderly" * I have 8 good songs (with the "scary" song now in exile)
My goals in 2007? Be a good parent and partner within my family; be successful at my job; work-out faithful at the gym; reach out, hold
on and welcome my faith; finish "I Am All That?"; put together a SOULdrop sales and marketing kit; do my best and live without regret;
and last but not least - continue to contribute creatively to KmCarey.com
have shared their heart with me this year - my FRIENDS (new and old) and FAMILY. And to those whom we've parted ways, I wish you
happiness always. It's true that I struggle along at times with emotional imbalances; yet, In the middle of all this crap that I construe is
perhaps a truth - a more honest and open way of life that I must deal with - that I must come to terms with...... that I must pursue and
welcome; if I am to enjoy this life.
Where am I? Not quite sure - really... hummm...
I am now gainfully employeed * I feel "elderly" * I have 8 good songs (with the "scary" song now in exile)
My goals in 2007? Be a good parent and partner within my family; be successful at my job; work-out faithful at the gym; reach out, hold
on and welcome my faith; finish "I Am All That?"; put together a SOULdrop sales and marketing kit; do my best and live without regret;
and last but not least - continue to contribute creatively to KmCarey.com
November '06
Thanksgiving
There was thought that November would go the way of June 2006 and not make an appearance. Generally when I don't feel like
spewing, it's because I'm in not a very good "place"... True again. Thanksgiving was a nice occasion this year though; a small but
festive gathering, including the kids. Food was "traditional" and very tasty - I sampled 3 out of the 4 deserts that were available (didn't
want to go for the one called "cowpie"...
I was told to "go home and get better" - I'll get right on that!! Not the easiest of things when one is 180 degrees opposite the other - just
the way it is.........Missed 2 nights of work this past week. I'm still on the schedule and will try to go 5 for 5 this week......... (3) new songs
on the site and (1) new piece of art... Tueyo is happening slowly but surely, and I hope to finish page number ONE this week... Happy
Holidays!
October '06
Grammie's gone
Grammie died 2 days ago, I was there in her bedroom with my mother when she took her last breath. she became cold and was
gone.
Later that day I met my ex-wife's new "friend", he jumped off of the couch that I used to lay on quite a bit <lol> and with a frantic shake of
the hand said, "pleasure to meet you"! I shook his hand reflexively and echoed his sentiments (although I didn't mean it)...
They were in a hurry to get out and enjoy their evening, I was left with our children and my thoughts.
Nuts & bolts
Here now for my bi-monthly check in.. lol - "hands up" - present and accounted for.
On to the nuts and bolts; the site has been updated quite a bit, with a new song, painting and pictures. Obviously, "My Time" was last on
the list.
Yes, can you sense clouds from the horizon - it's true! I have spent way too much time internalizing. It's time with children and then after
the drop off I go back to my "self". Not that there isn't a blur between the two.
I find myself with a mind full of thoughts.
That's all..........
Master Dog
Almost 2am and a sleepy voice inside me said , "write something in you journal - it's been almost a month!"
One thing for certain, Master Dog will remain on this page for a little bit longer! I enjoy the beat -
Speaking of the "dog".. He now has an official portrait - he waited patiently for almost 2 years.... hummmmm, every dog has his day?
Did I just write that?
So with the self portrait and Mike's portrait in the can, I must now say goodbye to the canvases and move forward with "Tueyo and
Friends".
And yes, I have paintings "4 sale" ... 4 paintings 4 sale .... 4 ever....... <lol>
Tomorrow I look for work - after i WAKE UP
September '06
Day after birthday
It's my annual birthday greetings to everyone (or just myself.. ha ha). I usually wait until one day after the fact and today is no exception.
As far as gifts go, I got more than Haylie Wheaties (so nice), plus thoughtful cards, clothes, useful cash and the best "happy birthday"
song ever sung by the greatest of all time gifts - my children.
My son, Mike aka, "Master Dog" has released a new single, "I Like That" (go to Songs/Lyrics to give it a listen).
Not to be outdone by this creative boy wonder, I put out yet another song in my "angst series" <lol> (see "HOME")
85% done with one of the four paintings in the "paintings for sale" series.
I hope to have them all finished this weekend.
Just a check in - CHECK!
Summer break over for the kids and back to school they go. There is plenty of change in the wind with those two
(I just imagined a couple of dazzling kites in the air; letting out just enough slack to watch them dance and play - but not too much...
hummmm).
My kite still in storage collecting dust.
I have begun a four painting project, with all pieces to be 4-sale (please buy one!) I will be painting them simultaneously (whoa - big word
walking), so as to maintain a cohesive style/feel. They will be what I consider "conservative abstract", with the intention to present art that
will compliment ones existing decor. Design and colors not too "strong", yet still able to express interesting originality. I hope to be able
to unwrap them within a week's time. These paintings will be my first serious commercial endeavour.
Then onward with "Tueyo AND Friends" ( Please, check out the Tueyo page to meet his "friends").
Take care, and I will try to do the same.
August '06
Gainfully employed
I'm going to continue where I left off - ANXIOUS. I lost a traffic citation court case on Friday. Although I am no longer in that house of
justice, my mind just can't seem to let it go, thus I have built an exact replica of that room and dropped it right in with all the other crap that
resides in my head. Talk about high density bull....!
Breath kevin - breath... let it go!!
I have added a song to the "LYRICS (& song)" page. You know I said to myself that I was going to write something light and breezy
<chuckle>. You know, a spade is a spade right?
I've got a few ideas sketched out ... hummm, what about poor "Tueyo and Friends"?
I need to be gainfully employed
Anxious again
Good afternoon - good afternoon
What do I wish to report? As the facts stand, I just completed an artistic trilogy... hummm, yes, I needed one of those! We had "4
Fingers", "Sisters" and now "Shoshone Garden". And now back to Tueyo and my challenges (WORK) there.
Then there's the cash flow issue... Last you will hear about this, as KmCarey is not about cash flow - yet, it's on my mind and therefore
now on this page... DONE!
I have had some wonderful "family time" of late and this has included the FULL SET - which is a very fine bonus!
My mom just celebrated a birthday and now it's my dad's turn - then mine. But I don't like-enjoy my birthday - I don't!
I need a "real job".... again.....
I'm anxious...... again
"KNOCK KNOCK"
Knock Knock ... lol
I'm here!
And although I have not been physically journaling as perhaps I should, I have indeed been mentally journaling up a storm!
I'm not here to make up, but I am here to begin again... It seems I went the outside -in approach verses the inside-out..... hummmm
My "insides" have had enough! You know there just comes a point when they say - TIME OUT, what do you REALLY want to do here?
Same old shit? hummmmmm
New photography page (number III). It's all about "The Super Natural Pacific Northwest" (I'm fairly sure that Victoria, BC has already
coined the Super Natural phrase, but what the hell - I like it and it fits!) What a wonderful vacation that me and the kids were able to enjoy
this summer - once in a lifetime!
Some new art in the books, "4 Fingers", "Sisters" and more in the pipeline.
Writings and new music still having to wait in line at this point... (keep waiting and waiting......)
100 sit ups a day
July '06
What happened to June?
Can anyone tell me what the hell happened to June? Because I completely missed it.. ha ha ...
Attitude check (huge +/- margin for error as I haven't had any sleep in over 24 hours).
Said I would journal? Not really.
Thought about Journaling? A Little bit.
Feel bad because I didn't write anything in "My Time" during June? Can't say that I do.......
What happened? Number one - apparently I didn't have anything earth shattering to report.
Number two - I didn't want to "share".
And finally Number three -
Good news: The children's book that I have been working on now has a cover... Yea!!
It's going to be quite the project, but I hope to remain positive about the final result...
More good news - 5 days until the kids and I shove off for a fifteen day "Great Pacific Northwest" vacation. I do pray to know patience,
understanding, tolerance, humor and gratitude.... and there's more "good stuff" in that bag that I must not forget to pack - AND WEAR!
I will return with a new page of photos and writings inspired by the adventure.
I hope everyone is enjoying their summertime.
June '06 ?
May '06
"Post"
(A few things) Why is the title of my new painting "Wings of Asia"? The answer lies in the ART section / Realism page - check it out if
you really want to know...... Oh, and why am I here? Because as a hermit, I really shouldn't be! Hermits don't do websites; hermits don't
do shit. Not true, I still have kept running all month long ( as in lacing up suitable shoes and hitting the pavement). Other than that, I'd say
I have been in a steady funk. Yes, all my cylinders are definitely and certifiably NOT firing.. lol. I can hear the rumble of the clothes dryer
upstairs - steady as she goes (why did I make it a she?) Ah, the lady in my life... I think I am "post" a lot of things right now; post kids,
relationship, painting. "Post" is a strange thing now, as It does not necessarily mean that it's over. If I would have said marriage (huh!),
that would be different , that would mean over... It's late, I'm thinking way too hard and even though I thought , maybe a good time for a
list? i.e., what is post over and what is post not over (and then there are the post maybe overs you know? - NOT! I shouldn't even be
here. I am a hermit and this level of thought is not being hermit like - I think? Yet I am in a somewhat dream state, and hermits are kinda
spacey - right? Do I have to ......? NO! No hermit research projects! Oh, and it seems that I am post God too, in all the Trinity entirety....
Avoiding the "mirror"
For those of you that found your way here via the "Wings of Asia" - welcome (lol)... It's been over 3 weeks since my last entry, and that is
that. It seems I do not want to linger in the mirror these days.
Progress not perfection....
What is there left for me to do?
I woke up from a dream with you again – so real the hurt still lingers deep;
your face, your voice, our children, the emotions overflowing in the truth. And I laid there awakened, not wanting to remember the small
details but because of me - having to. There it was again, me trying to match a smile to fit your face; attempting to find a clue that would
help me gain access to a joy that we both could share? This was a very sad dream, worse than falling to the ground and never waking
up; because waking up meant only to know that this was not a dream.
Yes, those damn "dreams/realities" will get to you sometimes! I'm more awake now. I can tell, because of all those "thoughts" (second,
third ......... Do it! Don't do it! Hummmmmmmmmm - I did it!).
Happy first day of May, happy birthday TSM; and to "progress not perfection"
April '06
Jesus has legs....
Yes, Jesus has legs!
I wrote down quite some time ago that I considered myself more of an explorer than an artist - hummmm. And with each piece of
exploration comes discovery; and untold emotions that attach themselves like "weed prickers" to cotton socks after a run through a field
on a hot summer's day. I sit on my butt detaching each of those nonlethal prickers, contemplating them as thoughts.
Nine Days....
You know I'm doing this not because I really have anything to say/share, just that it's been nine days since I last checked in (I know,
sometimes it's better not to say anything - or something like that?). Actually, I'm such a notorious motor mouth, that I figure if I just hang
out here long enough I'll have some beans to drop. Oh shit, sometimes I just want to spank myself! I've got to be straight here; there's
this friend who's IM me via her phone right now from a taco bell in Ohio... and the conversation is out of control!
On to the world of Tueyo the Trogger, my first and last book for children. Yes! The words are finished and the storyboard is set. Now the
drawing/painting begins. Let me tell you, BIG BIG project!!! Funny, didn't appear to be that big when I first envisioned it... lol
And then there's SOULdrop: received an e-mail first of this week that I will be receiving an actual manufactured jade and sterling silver
SOULdrop pendant. My contact says that I will be very happy with the piece. I must say as I have shared with others, I am thrilled but
nervous at the same time.
Tomorrow is looking good - planing to build my day around a noon time 6 mile run to the beach and back with a good friend.... Nice.
I guess I found something to say after all - HA! Not surprised in the least......
Overreacted....
Maybe the "Thrilled" was a bit overkill <lol>, not the first time I overreacted.... But I was apparently up and over and did a Tom Cruise,
shoot me - more to be revealed. Someone mentioned a tightrope that we walk... hummmm. I don't know. Lots of thoughts right now, but
nothing settled enough to expose on this page. I've got the kids this afternoon; helped with homework; helped with "not feeling well". I'm
thankful to be there for them. One last thought .....
Thrilled...
Now that "dumped" has moved on down the page - [oh yes, come to think of it, discuss it - I'm wondering about conflict of interest?
When I first began this website, the journaling aspect was a cornerstone. My logs have always been very personal and honest; this is
what is going on in my life,"My Time" and this is how I FEEL. Now that I have invited people to my site, I realize that my thoughts are
available for open interpretation, and although the names have been changed to protect the innocent (there have been exceptions),
there will be those who will know I am speaking of them, or have an idea who I'm speaking about......... Yet, this is about "personal
reflections /discovery" and my bed wasn't unmade just today. There are those people that are more entangled in my life, and it is those
relationships that help to shape my feelings. Bottom line is that KmCarey.com was never about self promotion or gain, just a place
where I could share myself with "me", and now with others so inclined. I hope to continue to be true to this ideal]. So I'm genuinely
thrilled. Yes, come to think of it I am absolutely thrilled! So many times it seems I just don't want to be, well, thrilled; but damn it I am!
And it's not about tomorrow - tomorrow will come; and if I can take better care of today, I imagine those tomorrows will stand a decent
chance of turning out alright. And I never really was "dumped" - I don't think? Or I was and then got picked up? Oh shit! But you know
the communication was always there. And there is a connection I feel. And I never thought the "sky is falling"; and I am thrilled...
*The people have spoken - "Kevin in Repose" has been edited out......
Sick & Tired
I was a little late rolling the website into Spring. I've been a "little late" before!
What's happening?.... A new photography page added (photography II): includes more friends & family - reflecting my love for them.
Colors added to poetry...
I've spent the morning listening to a whole bunch of financial hullabaloo - and the rain....
Took a self portrait out on the porch "Kevin in Repose".. added some lighting effects ...hummmmmm don't know what to think? My
mother likes the photo. She was amazed that it turned out the way it did, considering I "look like shit" (she qualified the statement by me
being sick <I've had a touch of the flu>)... hummmmmmm - thanks Mom...
Being sick and tired/weak has not helped the "mental"... Wandering into those shadows - staying too long - "I cry but there's no tears..
.....you can turn around now".... same old deal....Getting rather repetitive - isn't it!
And the rain keeps rhythm.
Thanksgiving
There was thought that November would go the way of June 2006 and not make an appearance. Generally when I don't feel like
spewing, it's because I'm in not a very good "place"... True again. Thanksgiving was a nice occasion this year though; a small but
festive gathering, including the kids. Food was "traditional" and very tasty - I sampled 3 out of the 4 deserts that were available (didn't
want to go for the one called "cowpie"...
I was told to "go home and get better" - I'll get right on that!! Not the easiest of things when one is 180 degrees opposite the other - just
the way it is.........Missed 2 nights of work this past week. I'm still on the schedule and will try to go 5 for 5 this week......... (3) new songs
on the site and (1) new piece of art... Tueyo is happening slowly but surely, and I hope to finish page number ONE this week... Happy
Holidays!
October '06
Grammie's gone
Grammie died 2 days ago, I was there in her bedroom with my mother when she took her last breath. she became cold and was
gone.
Later that day I met my ex-wife's new "friend", he jumped off of the couch that I used to lay on quite a bit <lol> and with a frantic shake of
the hand said, "pleasure to meet you"! I shook his hand reflexively and echoed his sentiments (although I didn't mean it)...
They were in a hurry to get out and enjoy their evening, I was left with our children and my thoughts.
Nuts & bolts
Here now for my bi-monthly check in.. lol - "hands up" - present and accounted for.
On to the nuts and bolts; the site has been updated quite a bit, with a new song, painting and pictures. Obviously, "My Time" was last on
the list.
Yes, can you sense clouds from the horizon - it's true! I have spent way too much time internalizing. It's time with children and then after
the drop off I go back to my "self". Not that there isn't a blur between the two.
I find myself with a mind full of thoughts.
That's all..........
Master Dog
Almost 2am and a sleepy voice inside me said , "write something in you journal - it's been almost a month!"
One thing for certain, Master Dog will remain on this page for a little bit longer! I enjoy the beat -
Speaking of the "dog".. He now has an official portrait - he waited patiently for almost 2 years.... hummmmm, every dog has his day?
Did I just write that?
So with the self portrait and Mike's portrait in the can, I must now say goodbye to the canvases and move forward with "Tueyo and
Friends".
And yes, I have paintings "4 sale" ... 4 paintings 4 sale .... 4 ever....... <lol>
Tomorrow I look for work - after i WAKE UP
September '06
Day after birthday
It's my annual birthday greetings to everyone (or just myself.. ha ha). I usually wait until one day after the fact and today is no exception.
As far as gifts go, I got more than Haylie Wheaties (so nice), plus thoughtful cards, clothes, useful cash and the best "happy birthday"
song ever sung by the greatest of all time gifts - my children.
My son, Mike aka, "Master Dog" has released a new single, "I Like That" (go to Songs/Lyrics to give it a listen).
Not to be outdone by this creative boy wonder, I put out yet another song in my "angst series" <lol> (see "HOME")
85% done with one of the four paintings in the "paintings for sale" series.
I hope to have them all finished this weekend.
Just a check in - CHECK!
Summer break over for the kids and back to school they go. There is plenty of change in the wind with those two
(I just imagined a couple of dazzling kites in the air; letting out just enough slack to watch them dance and play - but not too much...
hummmm).
My kite still in storage collecting dust.
I have begun a four painting project, with all pieces to be 4-sale (please buy one!) I will be painting them simultaneously (whoa - big word
walking), so as to maintain a cohesive style/feel. They will be what I consider "conservative abstract", with the intention to present art that
will compliment ones existing decor. Design and colors not too "strong", yet still able to express interesting originality. I hope to be able
to unwrap them within a week's time. These paintings will be my first serious commercial endeavour.
Then onward with "Tueyo AND Friends" ( Please, check out the Tueyo page to meet his "friends").
Take care, and I will try to do the same.
August '06
Gainfully employed
I'm going to continue where I left off - ANXIOUS. I lost a traffic citation court case on Friday. Although I am no longer in that house of
justice, my mind just can't seem to let it go, thus I have built an exact replica of that room and dropped it right in with all the other crap that
resides in my head. Talk about high density bull....!
Breath kevin - breath... let it go!!
I have added a song to the "LYRICS (& song)" page. You know I said to myself that I was going to write something light and breezy
<chuckle>. You know, a spade is a spade right?
I've got a few ideas sketched out ... hummm, what about poor "Tueyo and Friends"?
I need to be gainfully employed
Anxious again
Good afternoon - good afternoon
What do I wish to report? As the facts stand, I just completed an artistic trilogy... hummm, yes, I needed one of those! We had "4
Fingers", "Sisters" and now "Shoshone Garden". And now back to Tueyo and my challenges (WORK) there.
Then there's the cash flow issue... Last you will hear about this, as KmCarey is not about cash flow - yet, it's on my mind and therefore
now on this page... DONE!
I have had some wonderful "family time" of late and this has included the FULL SET - which is a very fine bonus!
My mom just celebrated a birthday and now it's my dad's turn - then mine. But I don't like-enjoy my birthday - I don't!
I need a "real job".... again.....
I'm anxious...... again
"KNOCK KNOCK"
Knock Knock ... lol
I'm here!
And although I have not been physically journaling as perhaps I should, I have indeed been mentally journaling up a storm!
I'm not here to make up, but I am here to begin again... It seems I went the outside -in approach verses the inside-out..... hummmm
My "insides" have had enough! You know there just comes a point when they say - TIME OUT, what do you REALLY want to do here?
Same old shit? hummmmmm
New photography page (number III). It's all about "The Super Natural Pacific Northwest" (I'm fairly sure that Victoria, BC has already
coined the Super Natural phrase, but what the hell - I like it and it fits!) What a wonderful vacation that me and the kids were able to enjoy
this summer - once in a lifetime!
Some new art in the books, "4 Fingers", "Sisters" and more in the pipeline.
Writings and new music still having to wait in line at this point... (keep waiting and waiting......)
100 sit ups a day
July '06
What happened to June?
Can anyone tell me what the hell happened to June? Because I completely missed it.. ha ha ...
Attitude check (huge +/- margin for error as I haven't had any sleep in over 24 hours).
Said I would journal? Not really.
Thought about Journaling? A Little bit.
Feel bad because I didn't write anything in "My Time" during June? Can't say that I do.......
What happened? Number one - apparently I didn't have anything earth shattering to report.
Number two - I didn't want to "share".
And finally Number three -
Good news: The children's book that I have been working on now has a cover... Yea!!
It's going to be quite the project, but I hope to remain positive about the final result...
More good news - 5 days until the kids and I shove off for a fifteen day "Great Pacific Northwest" vacation. I do pray to know patience,
understanding, tolerance, humor and gratitude.... and there's more "good stuff" in that bag that I must not forget to pack - AND WEAR!
I will return with a new page of photos and writings inspired by the adventure.
I hope everyone is enjoying their summertime.
June '06 ?
May '06
"Post"
(A few things) Why is the title of my new painting "Wings of Asia"? The answer lies in the ART section / Realism page - check it out if
you really want to know...... Oh, and why am I here? Because as a hermit, I really shouldn't be! Hermits don't do websites; hermits don't
do shit. Not true, I still have kept running all month long ( as in lacing up suitable shoes and hitting the pavement). Other than that, I'd say
I have been in a steady funk. Yes, all my cylinders are definitely and certifiably NOT firing.. lol. I can hear the rumble of the clothes dryer
upstairs - steady as she goes (why did I make it a she?) Ah, the lady in my life... I think I am "post" a lot of things right now; post kids,
relationship, painting. "Post" is a strange thing now, as It does not necessarily mean that it's over. If I would have said marriage (huh!),
that would be different , that would mean over... It's late, I'm thinking way too hard and even though I thought , maybe a good time for a
list? i.e., what is post over and what is post not over (and then there are the post maybe overs you know? - NOT! I shouldn't even be
here. I am a hermit and this level of thought is not being hermit like - I think? Yet I am in a somewhat dream state, and hermits are kinda
spacey - right? Do I have to ......? NO! No hermit research projects! Oh, and it seems that I am post God too, in all the Trinity entirety....
Avoiding the "mirror"
For those of you that found your way here via the "Wings of Asia" - welcome (lol)... It's been over 3 weeks since my last entry, and that is
that. It seems I do not want to linger in the mirror these days.
Progress not perfection....
What is there left for me to do?
I woke up from a dream with you again – so real the hurt still lingers deep;
your face, your voice, our children, the emotions overflowing in the truth. And I laid there awakened, not wanting to remember the small
details but because of me - having to. There it was again, me trying to match a smile to fit your face; attempting to find a clue that would
help me gain access to a joy that we both could share? This was a very sad dream, worse than falling to the ground and never waking
up; because waking up meant only to know that this was not a dream.
Yes, those damn "dreams/realities" will get to you sometimes! I'm more awake now. I can tell, because of all those "thoughts" (second,
third ......... Do it! Don't do it! Hummmmmmmmmm - I did it!).
Happy first day of May, happy birthday TSM; and to "progress not perfection"
April '06
Jesus has legs....
Yes, Jesus has legs!
I wrote down quite some time ago that I considered myself more of an explorer than an artist - hummmm. And with each piece of
exploration comes discovery; and untold emotions that attach themselves like "weed prickers" to cotton socks after a run through a field
on a hot summer's day. I sit on my butt detaching each of those nonlethal prickers, contemplating them as thoughts.
Nine Days....
You know I'm doing this not because I really have anything to say/share, just that it's been nine days since I last checked in (I know,
sometimes it's better not to say anything - or something like that?). Actually, I'm such a notorious motor mouth, that I figure if I just hang
out here long enough I'll have some beans to drop. Oh shit, sometimes I just want to spank myself! I've got to be straight here; there's
this friend who's IM me via her phone right now from a taco bell in Ohio... and the conversation is out of control!
On to the world of Tueyo the Trogger, my first and last book for children. Yes! The words are finished and the storyboard is set. Now the
drawing/painting begins. Let me tell you, BIG BIG project!!! Funny, didn't appear to be that big when I first envisioned it... lol
And then there's SOULdrop: received an e-mail first of this week that I will be receiving an actual manufactured jade and sterling silver
SOULdrop pendant. My contact says that I will be very happy with the piece. I must say as I have shared with others, I am thrilled but
nervous at the same time.
Tomorrow is looking good - planing to build my day around a noon time 6 mile run to the beach and back with a good friend.... Nice.
I guess I found something to say after all - HA! Not surprised in the least......
Overreacted....
Maybe the "Thrilled" was a bit overkill <lol>, not the first time I overreacted.... But I was apparently up and over and did a Tom Cruise,
shoot me - more to be revealed. Someone mentioned a tightrope that we walk... hummmm. I don't know. Lots of thoughts right now, but
nothing settled enough to expose on this page. I've got the kids this afternoon; helped with homework; helped with "not feeling well". I'm
thankful to be there for them. One last thought .....
Thrilled...
Now that "dumped" has moved on down the page - [oh yes, come to think of it, discuss it - I'm wondering about conflict of interest?
When I first began this website, the journaling aspect was a cornerstone. My logs have always been very personal and honest; this is
what is going on in my life,"My Time" and this is how I FEEL. Now that I have invited people to my site, I realize that my thoughts are
available for open interpretation, and although the names have been changed to protect the innocent (there have been exceptions),
there will be those who will know I am speaking of them, or have an idea who I'm speaking about......... Yet, this is about "personal
reflections /discovery" and my bed wasn't unmade just today. There are those people that are more entangled in my life, and it is those
relationships that help to shape my feelings. Bottom line is that KmCarey.com was never about self promotion or gain, just a place
where I could share myself with "me", and now with others so inclined. I hope to continue to be true to this ideal]. So I'm genuinely
thrilled. Yes, come to think of it I am absolutely thrilled! So many times it seems I just don't want to be, well, thrilled; but damn it I am!
And it's not about tomorrow - tomorrow will come; and if I can take better care of today, I imagine those tomorrows will stand a decent
chance of turning out alright. And I never really was "dumped" - I don't think? Or I was and then got picked up? Oh shit! But you know
the communication was always there. And there is a connection I feel. And I never thought the "sky is falling"; and I am thrilled...
*The people have spoken - "Kevin in Repose" has been edited out......
Sick & Tired
I was a little late rolling the website into Spring. I've been a "little late" before!
What's happening?.... A new photography page added (photography II): includes more friends & family - reflecting my love for them.
Colors added to poetry...
I've spent the morning listening to a whole bunch of financial hullabaloo - and the rain....
Took a self portrait out on the porch "Kevin in Repose".. added some lighting effects ...hummmmmm don't know what to think? My
mother likes the photo. She was amazed that it turned out the way it did, considering I "look like shit" (she qualified the statement by me
being sick <I've had a touch of the flu>)... hummmmmmm - thanks Mom...
Being sick and tired/weak has not helped the "mental"... Wandering into those shadows - staying too long - "I cry but there's no tears..
.....you can turn around now".... same old deal....Getting rather repetitive - isn't it!
And the rain keeps rhythm.
March '06
Welcome back........
Back from the Pacific Northwest and into arms that hold comfort, humor and truth....... Turned around? Maybe...
One thing for certain, hugs and kisses to go around as my children will be back on the hill today... YIPEE!!
Tell the world
This is a rare thing, journal entries on two consecutive days? I must have wanted to move "dumped" on down the list ..... lol And move
on! Kevin, when will you by God move on? But before that I had to tell my world of this travesty. And still with all the external advise and
hugs, internally I spin...... and I spin.. and I want to stop.......
"Walk the Line" is about redemption, faith..... L O V E ...
There is a place called limbo - for I know it well
"Dumped"
I got a call that as suggested, I might not want to be driving to hear.
Nothing is for certain - Never take for granted.........
Life lessons just keep on coming. I finished the portrait
(see "realism" page in the ART section).
I am thankful for this!
Tonight is "Walk the Line" and a steamed artichoke -
Life is not so bad.. lol
February '06
Special moments -
Haylie Wheaties
Golf
"Our Town"
Sunshine
People
How cannot my day be anything but great,
as it has begun with you.....
"Other things"
Well it's about bloody well time now isn't it! My poor site has been sorely neglected; plus
a few hundred "other things"....
You know the "other things' " in the drawers, closets, shoe boxes,...etc
I've been slowly but surely stroking along, as I near 80% completion on the Dani & Ryan
portrait. It's been "forever" since I last posted something visually artistic, so even though
it's not finished - here's a peak. I plan on delivering the finished product towards the end
of next month, as I head up to Washington State for a one week visit. During my time up
there, we will be celebrating Ryan's (Rhino's) one year old birthday. Rumor has it that
the kid will be turned loose on his birthday cake - this should prove to be a highlight!
The kids are doing well ( knock on everything!). I've enjoyed a couple of "daylight
dates"....... and I just might have found someone who will make me a SOULdrop.
I haven't been to the gym in a week, and don't I know it! Diet is ho hum, with a four donut
6am breakfast splurge this morning - YIKES! Tomorrow I plan to bust it up and
everything will be all better..... (lol)
| Dani & "Rhino" (80%) |
| January '06 Loss of words.... Sometimes the here and now is too close for my comfort. I'm thinking "double spacing" is a good thing... lol I'm thinking "triple" is even better (of course!) Life is sometimes more complicated than I choose to anticipate .. "GIA" makes for interesting live theater.. FRIDAY the 13th Damn! If I would have realized that it was / is Friday the 13th <yikes> I ....... Too late!! I would not consider myself superstitious. Although, I do have superstitious thoughts? Is this one weak first of the year entry or what! I must confess that I e-mailed Oprah - yes I did! One of the most powerful people in our universe. My mother has TIVO and informed me that she was "catching up on her Oprah. Why? You know I discovered a word in the dictionary yesterday. I don't remember the word and highly doubt that I could find its place. It had to do with someone flattering those of noteriety/power... something like that.. This is not my intention. I just know that Oprah enjoys to read, and I believe truly appreciates the human condition with all its mutations. So I thought what the hell, I'll share my "condition" with her. Something is telling me (superstitious thought...lol) that I should delete, delete, DELETE... Not a chance (maybe reconsider?) ...... maybe (Visit the Archives page for "My Time" history) |
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