"My Time" - 2008 Personal Reflections Archives Cancer |
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Not going to say much of anything, but hey - got the page going .. lol
Mittwoch
| Me???? ...oh... everything ok or nearly ok bit worn and torn don't know many bad/sad things going on around me many thoughts in my head have to bring them in "order" but don't want it hummm |
| Special "My Time" Guest |
| February - June "AWOL" |
| July |
| January |
that this was no abscessed tonsil (as originally diagnosed by my primary physician). And we cannot drain when there is nothing to drain!
TIMELINE of DISCOVERY
Monday June 2nd:
Although I was in a stressful and nervous environment, the sound that my voice made was unusually deep and hoarse - it was strange.
Tuesday - Friday June 3rd -6th:
About this time frame I noticed what I thought was a swollen gland in my neck. I commented about this to my nearly once a day cell
phone conversationalist good buddy (and fellow commuter), and it was he who said I should have it checked out. Something clicked (it
was bugging me) and as it had been approximately 1 year since my last physical, I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone and make the
appointment to have the physical and the lump checked out.
Wednesday June 11th:
Met with my primary doctor. Physical went fine. The "lump"? Off to the ENT Doctor to have it drained. I did however notice that the
doctor did reserve a sense of urgency in wanting me to see this doctor in quick order.
Thursday June 12th:
ENT visit and subsequent biopsy performed (there would be no draining of the lump). He said that I should receive a call about the
results in 4 business days. I felt very very empty inside. I called my boss and said I was not going back into work; I had to make some
"phone calls". I think first to my ex wife / mother of our kids - started there ... then to my best of friends ... not too many calls .. I knew it
would not be good news and I had 4 days to wait to confirm this.
Tuesday June 17th:
Biopsy confirmed the cancerous tumor
Thursday June 19th:
Consultation with my new best friend! - my Radiation Oncologist. He and also his partner checked out my tumors (one in neck <level 4a>
and one in tonsil <level 3>; to be confirmed by MRI). He was very caring, reassuring and confident. He shook my hand no less than 4
times during our 45 minutes or so together and told me in no uncertain terms, "you are going to get to know me very well and I will take
good care of you!".
He was my angel. He was the first person since my prognosis that really set my mind at ease. He wasn't a loved one who it is expected
to offer words of hope, comfort and prayers; it was a doctor who until this had never entered my life. He took the time to personally get
the ball rolling for my consultation with my Second New Best Friend - my Medical Oncologist, or as I now lovingly refer to her as
"Chemical Wali". I will say this, as I will now refer to my Radiation doctor as, Dr."R" - Dr. R may have been a little bit overly optimistic, as
he said I would be doing 2 cycles of chemo and then turned over to him for the radiation. He was going to "beat the crap out of me", but
in 5 months total time, I would be as good as new - sans most of my saliva glands. I have remarked that there will be no more spitting
contests in my future... hummmmmm.
Thursday June 26th:
MRI performed on the neck and brain! I'm thinking oh no, not into the brain please!!
Tuesday July 1st:
PET / CT Imaging skull base to mid thigh. No other cancer found in areas that were not already confirmed by the MRI - WHEW!
Thursday July 3rd:
Consultation with Chemical Wali. She addresses my initial Chemotherapy treatment program and it is a far cry from Dr. R's chemo
program. How about 4 cycles and that Chemo will proceed in conjunction with the radiation! I did comment to the doctor, "now, you two
are going to work together on this treatment program, right?"
Monday July 7th:
First day of Chemo - 6 hours. Drugs: Cisplatin and Erbitux
Tuesday July 8th (today):
Day two of Chemo - 2 hours. Drug: Taxotere
Comments: The "Time Line" is but a Black & White snapshot of what I know and as always, spliced in with stumbling attempts at
humor. In between the facts and jokes lie so much more ... and emotions are at times like this with no words to match. I have so many
people praying for me right now it is amazing. I belong to the most wonderful church and this as in past times has served as a place of
refuge and peace for me. Even there is a "class" of deeply religious folks that I met through my hotel job (they have been holding an
annual retreat there for years), and they are also praying for my recovery - He now calls me "Brother Kevin" - WOW! My boss continues
to care for me as a father would his son (but he's not that "old" .. sorry!) - Although I do look up to him as a son would his father - I respect
him immensely . I have a few Bosom Buddies that live in the Great Northwest - and the beautiful thing about this is, one of them - he and I
have been becoming closer even before this... I'm thankful for our friendship "rebirth". There is my "Witness" back in Virginia who holds
a special place in my heart. And of course there is that person who calls me her "Moin Man" .. lol .. She cares so deeply and I am so
touched by this. My family, even though I don't offer much up myself towards our unity - is there - as we are family. I shouldn't have started
this "name naming"! Not fair .. too many people not wanting to leave out - but if they truly know me and they've been "left out", I think
they'll forgive me! My Washington Mom, Dad and "Brothers", My "Best Man" - even one who called me the night after he unexpectedly
found out at his 30 year high school reunion; and did so without much sleep and a heavy heart!. All the caregivers .. my fellow disease
carriers (that sounds not great).. But truly , I never knew what to expect when I went in for my chemo - and there it was, a room with 8
recliner chairs and IV stands for each - only thing missing was some hair dryer bonnets and we would have ourselves a beauty salon.
And two of the chairs were occupied on that first day by "older folks" and they had such humor and wry faces ... I've always enjoyed being
around seniors! Fond memories of barber shops and family get-to-gethers; loved hangin out with the older crowd :-) . And you know
without a blink of my eyes or tears would I not know the joy of life, if it were not for our children and the woman who bore these blessings
in my life - we will always be a family - though not quite Ozzy and Harriet style ... but as Mom, Dad and KIDS... this will never change!
I will do my best to continue updating my journal, as now I have something that has apparently sparked my interest in sharing. For all
these past months that I have been "AWOL" .. there must have been a reason for all of this?
TIMELINE of DISCOVERY
Monday June 2nd:
Although I was in a stressful and nervous environment, the sound that my voice made was unusually deep and hoarse - it was strange.
Tuesday - Friday June 3rd -6th:
About this time frame I noticed what I thought was a swollen gland in my neck. I commented about this to my nearly once a day cell
phone conversationalist good buddy (and fellow commuter), and it was he who said I should have it checked out. Something clicked (it
was bugging me) and as it had been approximately 1 year since my last physical, I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone and make the
appointment to have the physical and the lump checked out.
Wednesday June 11th:
Met with my primary doctor. Physical went fine. The "lump"? Off to the ENT Doctor to have it drained. I did however notice that the
doctor did reserve a sense of urgency in wanting me to see this doctor in quick order.
Thursday June 12th:
ENT visit and subsequent biopsy performed (there would be no draining of the lump). He said that I should receive a call about the
results in 4 business days. I felt very very empty inside. I called my boss and said I was not going back into work; I had to make some
"phone calls". I think first to my ex wife / mother of our kids - started there ... then to my best of friends ... not too many calls .. I knew it
would not be good news and I had 4 days to wait to confirm this.
Tuesday June 17th:
Biopsy confirmed the cancerous tumor
Thursday June 19th:
Consultation with my new best friend! - my Radiation Oncologist. He and also his partner checked out my tumors (one in neck <level 4a>
and one in tonsil <level 3>; to be confirmed by MRI). He was very caring, reassuring and confident. He shook my hand no less than 4
times during our 45 minutes or so together and told me in no uncertain terms, "you are going to get to know me very well and I will take
good care of you!".
He was my angel. He was the first person since my prognosis that really set my mind at ease. He wasn't a loved one who it is expected
to offer words of hope, comfort and prayers; it was a doctor who until this had never entered my life. He took the time to personally get
the ball rolling for my consultation with my Second New Best Friend - my Medical Oncologist, or as I now lovingly refer to her as
"Chemical Wali". I will say this, as I will now refer to my Radiation doctor as, Dr."R" - Dr. R may have been a little bit overly optimistic, as
he said I would be doing 2 cycles of chemo and then turned over to him for the radiation. He was going to "beat the crap out of me", but
in 5 months total time, I would be as good as new - sans most of my saliva glands. I have remarked that there will be no more spitting
contests in my future... hummmmmm.
Thursday June 26th:
MRI performed on the neck and brain! I'm thinking oh no, not into the brain please!!
Tuesday July 1st:
PET / CT Imaging skull base to mid thigh. No other cancer found in areas that were not already confirmed by the MRI - WHEW!
Thursday July 3rd:
Consultation with Chemical Wali. She addresses my initial Chemotherapy treatment program and it is a far cry from Dr. R's chemo
program. How about 4 cycles and that Chemo will proceed in conjunction with the radiation! I did comment to the doctor, "now, you two
are going to work together on this treatment program, right?"
Monday July 7th:
First day of Chemo - 6 hours. Drugs: Cisplatin and Erbitux
Tuesday July 8th (today):
Day two of Chemo - 2 hours. Drug: Taxotere
Comments: The "Time Line" is but a Black & White snapshot of what I know and as always, spliced in with stumbling attempts at
humor. In between the facts and jokes lie so much more ... and emotions are at times like this with no words to match. I have so many
people praying for me right now it is amazing. I belong to the most wonderful church and this as in past times has served as a place of
refuge and peace for me. Even there is a "class" of deeply religious folks that I met through my hotel job (they have been holding an
annual retreat there for years), and they are also praying for my recovery - He now calls me "Brother Kevin" - WOW! My boss continues
to care for me as a father would his son (but he's not that "old" .. sorry!) - Although I do look up to him as a son would his father - I respect
him immensely . I have a few Bosom Buddies that live in the Great Northwest - and the beautiful thing about this is, one of them - he and I
have been becoming closer even before this... I'm thankful for our friendship "rebirth". There is my "Witness" back in Virginia who holds
a special place in my heart. And of course there is that person who calls me her "Moin Man" .. lol .. She cares so deeply and I am so
touched by this. My family, even though I don't offer much up myself towards our unity - is there - as we are family. I shouldn't have started
this "name naming"! Not fair .. too many people not wanting to leave out - but if they truly know me and they've been "left out", I think
they'll forgive me! My Washington Mom, Dad and "Brothers", My "Best Man" - even one who called me the night after he unexpectedly
found out at his 30 year high school reunion; and did so without much sleep and a heavy heart!. All the caregivers .. my fellow disease
carriers (that sounds not great).. But truly , I never knew what to expect when I went in for my chemo - and there it was, a room with 8
recliner chairs and IV stands for each - only thing missing was some hair dryer bonnets and we would have ourselves a beauty salon.
And two of the chairs were occupied on that first day by "older folks" and they had such humor and wry faces ... I've always enjoyed being
around seniors! Fond memories of barber shops and family get-to-gethers; loved hangin out with the older crowd :-) . And you know
without a blink of my eyes or tears would I not know the joy of life, if it were not for our children and the woman who bore these blessings
in my life - we will always be a family - though not quite Ozzy and Harriet style ... but as Mom, Dad and KIDS... this will never change!
I will do my best to continue updating my journal, as now I have something that has apparently sparked my interest in sharing. For all
these past months that I have been "AWOL" .. there must have been a reason for all of this?
| <Pictures taken this morning> |
(Never being one accused of not taking liberties when
it came to dramatic effect). On June 17, 2008 a biopsy
of my right tonsil confirmed that I have a malignant
tumor - "Moderately to Poorly differentiated Keratinizing
Squamous Cell Carcinoma" - Cancer. I was 99.9%
sure to hear this news, as the ENT doctor indicated
before taking a few hunks of flesh from inside my mouth
it came to dramatic effect). On June 17, 2008 a biopsy
of my right tonsil confirmed that I have a malignant
tumor - "Moderately to Poorly differentiated Keratinizing
Squamous Cell Carcinoma" - Cancer. I was 99.9%
sure to hear this news, as the ENT doctor indicated
before taking a few hunks of flesh from inside my mouth
| Tuesday July 8th 2nd day of Treatment |
I don't know ... hummmm ... Honeymoon is definitely over! I was thinking after
receiving my first cycle of Chemo that , hey, this aint' sooo bad - Wrong!
Skin on my face/scalp is breaking out big time, woke up and still maintain an
outrageous hang-over headache; and flu-like sensations slink along
throughout my body. I feel so very very strange! And now to this blog, as I'm
having second thoughts to posting my feelings - hate this! Don't want to be a
"winer", "weakling" ... Again, I'm looking at senior ladies with a hell of a lot
more courage then me! Questions ... hummm ... so many ... Breakfast with
my dad and kids this morning .. zero appetite, but managed to eat a good
portion of my meal (onion bagel, scrambled eggs with onions and lox's ..
cream cheese .. pototoes ... God I love FOOD! What a cruel treatment
program - taking away my appetite like this ... I'm tired and have very little
desire ... I just want to go into a coma and wake up with everything all better
... typical me .. Let's see .. Nice phone call from a good friend this morning
(not expected but very welcomed).. he said, "rise and shine" .... Still so new
and surreal .... doesn't bode well with my fantasy mentality!
receiving my first cycle of Chemo that , hey, this aint' sooo bad - Wrong!
Skin on my face/scalp is breaking out big time, woke up and still maintain an
outrageous hang-over headache; and flu-like sensations slink along
throughout my body. I feel so very very strange! And now to this blog, as I'm
having second thoughts to posting my feelings - hate this! Don't want to be a
"winer", "weakling" ... Again, I'm looking at senior ladies with a hell of a lot
more courage then me! Questions ... hummm ... so many ... Breakfast with
my dad and kids this morning .. zero appetite, but managed to eat a good
portion of my meal (onion bagel, scrambled eggs with onions and lox's ..
cream cheese .. pototoes ... God I love FOOD! What a cruel treatment
program - taking away my appetite like this ... I'm tired and have very little
desire ... I just want to go into a coma and wake up with everything all better
... typical me .. Let's see .. Nice phone call from a good friend this morning
(not expected but very welcomed).. he said, "rise and shine" .... Still so new
and surreal .... doesn't bode well with my fantasy mentality!
| Friday July 25th - 19th Day of treatment |
Pizza anyone? Extra pepperoni ... as you can see, the 'ol skin is not doing so well these days - a side effect of the chemo drug Erbitux.
Got some more meds to hopefully calm down the irritation, cannot afford to not continue with the chemo. So "nurse mommy" applied
some lotion to my scalp and hydrocortisone to my face and chest . Feeling just peachy now - Actually; tired, lost and confused. Not much
in the mood for anything. I ate a big salad with blue cheese dressing - lots of veggies .. that went down good ... now .. just want to go to
sleep and wake up better .. I know the emails are cranking at work ... don't know when I will go back in this week. Not like this for sure.
Got some more meds to hopefully calm down the irritation, cannot afford to not continue with the chemo. So "nurse mommy" applied
some lotion to my scalp and hydrocortisone to my face and chest . Feeling just peachy now - Actually; tired, lost and confused. Not much
in the mood for anything. I ate a big salad with blue cheese dressing - lots of veggies .. that went down good ... now .. just want to go to
sleep and wake up better .. I know the emails are cranking at work ... don't know when I will go back in this week. Not like this for sure.
| Monday July 14th - 8th Day of treatment |
Piece of cake? I call "foul"! This Port-a-cath that I had
implanted into my Jugular vein and out my chest ain't like
no piece of cake that I have ever enjoyed ... But as my
close friend would say, "it is what it is"...... and I've got two
Diphenhydramine tablets that hopefully will knock me on my
behind and wake me up to a more comfortable day. I had it
in my mind that I was going to be under general anesthesia
during this morning's "piece of cake" procedure, but
because I was driving myself, I got local and an experience
I can pass along to my grand kids one day (hopefully).
Crazy feeling to have tubbing routed through your vein and
then for a "pocket" to be created for the port. And as the
good rockin doctor was creating this pouch I just had to
say, "what the hell are you doing?" It was all about these
fibers that had to be broken down between the muscle and
the fat layers .. then the skin (or leather - very similar). My
Erbitux Rash I know looks nasty, but it's actually drying up in
most places and I am in not as much discomfort as the past
few days. Although Dr. Wali said that she would give me a
break on the Erbitux, I left a message to stay the course
and take everything as scheduled. My hair is becoming
easy to pull out and I should be "Kojak" shortly. I received
an unbelievable "prayer card" from the Kings Couriers
Class of Lake Avenue Church ( a group that as a sales
manager at the hotel I work at, I have been involved with the
past 2 years) - Warm wishes, stories, thoughts, prayers
and I Love You's from people that I only just now know.
implanted into my Jugular vein and out my chest ain't like
no piece of cake that I have ever enjoyed ... But as my
close friend would say, "it is what it is"...... and I've got two
Diphenhydramine tablets that hopefully will knock me on my
behind and wake me up to a more comfortable day. I had it
in my mind that I was going to be under general anesthesia
during this morning's "piece of cake" procedure, but
because I was driving myself, I got local and an experience
I can pass along to my grand kids one day (hopefully).
Crazy feeling to have tubbing routed through your vein and
then for a "pocket" to be created for the port. And as the
good rockin doctor was creating this pouch I just had to
say, "what the hell are you doing?" It was all about these
fibers that had to be broken down between the muscle and
the fat layers .. then the skin (or leather - very similar). My
Erbitux Rash I know looks nasty, but it's actually drying up in
most places and I am in not as much discomfort as the past
few days. Although Dr. Wali said that she would give me a
break on the Erbitux, I left a message to stay the course
and take everything as scheduled. My hair is becoming
easy to pull out and I should be "Kojak" shortly. I received
an unbelievable "prayer card" from the Kings Couriers
Class of Lake Avenue Church ( a group that as a sales
manager at the hotel I work at, I have been involved with the
past 2 years) - Warm wishes, stories, thoughts, prayers
and I Love You's from people that I only just now know.
| Saturday August 30th - 55th day of treatment < 3 cycles Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 8 > |
| August |
Squinting into a the foggy glare (appropriate, because I'm feeling a bit like I'm living in a foggy glare).
I'd have to say - and I hate to say it, as radiation is still on the horizon, that this 2nd cycle of chemo has
been not pleasant. Got my triple dose on Monday and WHACK! Made it into work for 4 hours or so on
Thursday and that was it. Talk about a "Cameo"! Biggest issue - constipation (I'll spare the details, but I
must say that the day before the turd baby was finally delivered, I did everything in my power to try and
relieve the distress that I was under - EVERYTHING! Second issue - "jitters" .. a complete nervous
"uneasy" ... and then that taste! That taste of metal in the mouth ... scrambled eggs in butter with french
bread toast made it the most tolerable. And then this BLOG... so much easier to ramble on when you're
going through mental torment - like say a DIVORCE.. than this physical adventure...... Zero energy .....
Everything seems to want to shut down .... Skin is better .. Port is healing fine ... Tummy is tender. Kids
far far away and yes I miss and think of them often, but know we have our different needs at this time.
Amy's home, wonder if I'll hear from her anytime soon. Fiesta in town....... Hoping to gain strength...
>>>>>>>>> feeling low and lonely I made a tearful call back to Ohio - wanted to connect with the kids..
My "little girl" and loving boy ... Knew going in that I was a wreck and questioned the soundness of the
call, but I was compelled .... I told Em I was feeling so sick and just wanted to get better so that I could
kick Michael's ass again (inside joke) ... "I love you daddy".. oh! and by the way I bought a pair of
Madden shoes at the mall today, normally seventy some odd bucks, I got them for $17 :-) (that's my
girl!) ... Viva la Fiesta ... Time to take my nightly fix of sedatives and be "Calm" ......
I'd have to say - and I hate to say it, as radiation is still on the horizon, that this 2nd cycle of chemo has
been not pleasant. Got my triple dose on Monday and WHACK! Made it into work for 4 hours or so on
Thursday and that was it. Talk about a "Cameo"! Biggest issue - constipation (I'll spare the details, but I
must say that the day before the turd baby was finally delivered, I did everything in my power to try and
relieve the distress that I was under - EVERYTHING! Second issue - "jitters" .. a complete nervous
"uneasy" ... and then that taste! That taste of metal in the mouth ... scrambled eggs in butter with french
bread toast made it the most tolerable. And then this BLOG... so much easier to ramble on when you're
going through mental torment - like say a DIVORCE.. than this physical adventure...... Zero energy .....
Everything seems to want to shut down .... Skin is better .. Port is healing fine ... Tummy is tender. Kids
far far away and yes I miss and think of them often, but know we have our different needs at this time.
Amy's home, wonder if I'll hear from her anytime soon. Fiesta in town....... Hoping to gain strength...
>>>>>>>>> feeling low and lonely I made a tearful call back to Ohio - wanted to connect with the kids..
My "little girl" and loving boy ... Knew going in that I was a wreck and questioned the soundness of the
call, but I was compelled .... I told Em I was feeling so sick and just wanted to get better so that I could
kick Michael's ass again (inside joke) ... "I love you daddy".. oh! and by the way I bought a pair of
Madden shoes at the mall today, normally seventy some odd bucks, I got them for $17 :-) (that's my
girl!) ... Viva la Fiesta ... Time to take my nightly fix of sedatives and be "Calm" ......
| Saturday August 2nd 27th Day of treatment |
Better .....
Found out that there is life after "Nadir" ... Hallelujah! I have a meeting with my Radiation Doc on Tuesday to map out our schedule. We
will go over the latest MRI which I had done this past Friday. Heard from Amy via email 8 days after she got back from Ohio <short and
to the point "hey how are ya? Take care" ... > Kids are having a great time back east - this is very good... I've ordered bunny food and
bedding (trying to keep my Heinz livin large.. lol .. and as my appetite and desire for "taste" is on high alert; as I've got sirloin steak,
shrimp, avocado, salsa ... etc..etc... on the menu tonight .... Thank you and much love to everyone for their prayers and support!
will go over the latest MRI which I had done this past Friday. Heard from Amy via email 8 days after she got back from Ohio <short and
to the point "hey how are ya? Take care" ... > Kids are having a great time back east - this is very good... I've ordered bunny food and
bedding (trying to keep my Heinz livin large.. lol .. and as my appetite and desire for "taste" is on high alert; as I've got sirloin steak,
shrimp, avocado, salsa ... etc..etc... on the menu tonight .... Thank you and much love to everyone for their prayers and support!
ADDED 8/11 - Scanned this pic
that my Mom took towards the
end of my first week of chemo
(skin had yet to "dissolve").
I don't think my sisters have
graced my website much if at all,
and this is a great pic of Karen
(Big Sis - aka "Red Bird") <we're
touching fingers> and little sis,
Kristin (Stacy - middle sis, didn't
make the get together). And
then of course those blond kids!
that my Mom took towards the
end of my first week of chemo
(skin had yet to "dissolve").
I don't think my sisters have
graced my website much if at all,
and this is a great pic of Karen
(Big Sis - aka "Red Bird") <we're
touching fingers> and little sis,
Kristin (Stacy - middle sis, didn't
make the get together). And
then of course those blond kids!
| Saturday August 9th - 34th Day of treatment |
| The Mask |
Fitted for my radiation mask today and then
underwent a CT scan. I will be wearing my alter ego
during the 8 weeks of treatment (yes I get to keep it
after we're all done and will do something to color it
up a bit). The purpose of the mask is to hold my
head in place as I get zapped. The 3 blue markers
along the neckline are used as the guides to line
everything up... Safe to say it's all a bit technical -
modern medicine - amazing!
underwent a CT scan. I will be wearing my alter ego
during the 8 weeks of treatment (yes I get to keep it
after we're all done and will do something to color it
up a bit). The purpose of the mask is to hold my
head in place as I get zapped. The 3 blue markers
along the neckline are used as the guides to line
everything up... Safe to say it's all a bit technical -
modern medicine - amazing!
Dr. R (Radiation Doc) Once again treated me like King of the World, a VIP for the
ages! He barked orders to staffers - process this.. process that, Mr. Libera needs a
CT today, call Ventura Imaging and get him in - they owe us a favor! I was
embarrassed! People in the lobby - waiting .. waiting ... and here I was getting such
unbelievable attention... Doc says everything is on pace and see you next week.
ages! He barked orders to staffers - process this.. process that, Mr. Libera needs a
CT today, call Ventura Imaging and get him in - they owe us a favor! I was
embarrassed! People in the lobby - waiting .. waiting ... and here I was getting such
unbelievable attention... Doc says everything is on pace and see you next week.
| Tuesday August 12th - 37th Day of treatment (2 cycles of chemo in the books) |
PRE-SHAVE.. Was accumulating a wild variety of white billy goat stubble that just had
to go! But had to wait until my skin was a bit more inclined to accept the blade.
Radiation treatment schedule has been set. Tomorrow we begin; 8 weeks, Mon-Fri,
15 mins per session. I wonder what they call these sessions besides nasty? When I
go to chemo it's called "Infusion" ...
So away we go! I saw a colored print out of my neck area and where the tumors are
located. In "green" would be the area of my neck that would be zapped during my
treatment - my whole entire neck was GREEN!!!
to go! But had to wait until my skin was a bit more inclined to accept the blade.
Radiation treatment schedule has been set. Tomorrow we begin; 8 weeks, Mon-Fri,
15 mins per session. I wonder what they call these sessions besides nasty? When I
go to chemo it's called "Infusion" ...
So away we go! I saw a colored print out of my neck area and where the tumors are
located. In "green" would be the area of my neck that would be zapped during my
treatment - my whole entire neck was GREEN!!!
| Tuesday August 19th - 44th Day of treatment |
OK - The dog "Lucy" gets top billing today - What's not to love about this little GoldenDoodle Girl ! She's Ohio bred and was shipped
back with the kids on their return flight from an almost month long vacation with Grandma, Grandpa and a pile of relatives. Kids didn't
know Lucy was in the cargo hold of the plane - Yep, Mom pulled a fast one on them. So as she is a pup and full of pup, we gave Amy a
few days off from the day to day care of the little darling to recharge - It's been great having her up here on the hill.
Emily's ..off to a "sleep-over" tonight (she's been chomping at the bit to bust out of this joint!) .. Mike and I left to do what we do ( he just
informed me that he is HUNGRY!) ... Mom back from her 70th Birthday Party get together (with sleeping bag in tow).
Oh... NewsFlash: Emily has received the very cool honor of singing the National Anthem over the PA system to the student body on the
first day of school (Monday)...... and she got her braces off this past Wednesday (she has since found her perfect smile - hummmmmm).
Gee.. back to the good 'ol journaling ...
OK .. 3rd day of radiation and I think it's too early!!! But I'm getting some damn dry mouth ... (shouldn't be happening for another week).
The kids came down with me yesterday and they watched as I was bolted down - the Mask "Derrick" to my face and then to the table ..
They seemed to not want to hang out long and were back pedaling out of the room as I was trying to continue a conversation with them ...
They also had an opportunity to meet my Doc ... it was all good.
Bad news... Lot's of foods I like are OUT! Salads, Spicy Mexican, Raw Veggies, Chips ..... and more .... so sad!
back with the kids on their return flight from an almost month long vacation with Grandma, Grandpa and a pile of relatives. Kids didn't
know Lucy was in the cargo hold of the plane - Yep, Mom pulled a fast one on them. So as she is a pup and full of pup, we gave Amy a
few days off from the day to day care of the little darling to recharge - It's been great having her up here on the hill.
Emily's ..off to a "sleep-over" tonight (she's been chomping at the bit to bust out of this joint!) .. Mike and I left to do what we do ( he just
informed me that he is HUNGRY!) ... Mom back from her 70th Birthday Party get together (with sleeping bag in tow).
Oh... NewsFlash: Emily has received the very cool honor of singing the National Anthem over the PA system to the student body on the
first day of school (Monday)...... and she got her braces off this past Wednesday (she has since found her perfect smile - hummmmmm).
Gee.. back to the good 'ol journaling ...
OK .. 3rd day of radiation and I think it's too early!!! But I'm getting some damn dry mouth ... (shouldn't be happening for another week).
The kids came down with me yesterday and they watched as I was bolted down - the Mask "Derrick" to my face and then to the table ..
They seemed to not want to hang out long and were back pedaling out of the room as I was trying to continue a conversation with them ...
They also had an opportunity to meet my Doc ... it was all good.
Bad news... Lot's of foods I like are OUT! Salads, Spicy Mexican, Raw Veggies, Chips ..... and more .... so sad!
Here are a couple happy guys .. LOL .. Me and my Brother from a
different mother, Joel. I've known him for almost 30 years. I met him and
his family when I moved up to Washington State when I was 19 years old.
My head begins to spin just to think of our "time-line", so I'll just take in the
last week with you. Although I thought I wasn't up for it, Joel decided to
come down and spend some time with me. I was certainly NOT feeling
social, but we had mentioned getting together "one on one" and he
booked the flight and that was that. It's hard to explain really, as we most
always have a great time together, but with this treatment going down
and my energy ... what energy .. lol .. I was certainly not motivated and just
indifferent I guess.... to his arrival. WELL, it turned out just fine. We
prepared and ate good fun food together; laughed; watched a bit of
Olympics and bottom line? He took me "away" ... to a really great place
..... a lot of the time.
I have many people people to thank for "taking me away" ... so many
wonderful surprises .....
Happy Birthday to my Dad tomorrow..
different mother, Joel. I've known him for almost 30 years. I met him and
his family when I moved up to Washington State when I was 19 years old.
My head begins to spin just to think of our "time-line", so I'll just take in the
last week with you. Although I thought I wasn't up for it, Joel decided to
come down and spend some time with me. I was certainly NOT feeling
social, but we had mentioned getting together "one on one" and he
booked the flight and that was that. It's hard to explain really, as we most
always have a great time together, but with this treatment going down
and my energy ... what energy .. lol .. I was certainly not motivated and just
indifferent I guess.... to his arrival. WELL, it turned out just fine. We
prepared and ate good fun food together; laughed; watched a bit of
Olympics and bottom line? He took me "away" ... to a really great place
..... a lot of the time.
I have many people people to thank for "taking me away" ... so many
wonderful surprises .....
Happy Birthday to my Dad tomorrow..
| "Derrick" |
| Friday August 22nd - 47th day of treatment < 3 cycles Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 3 > |
| YUMMY! |
How about this for a little radiation delicacy I conjured
up this afternoon, as I continue to temp my failing
taste buds - We begin with a bed of warmed refried
beans (stirred with a dash of water and a tablespoon
of medium salsa), next we add a few sprinkles of blue
cheese crumbles, a generous dollop of cottage
cheese, cubed avocado and topped with 3 fried eggs
(lubricated in butter)..... Yes, "yummy" indeed! Talk
about optimism! One word - GROSS!
up this afternoon, as I continue to temp my failing
taste buds - We begin with a bed of warmed refried
beans (stirred with a dash of water and a tablespoon
of medium salsa), next we add a few sprinkles of blue
cheese crumbles, a generous dollop of cottage
cheese, cubed avocado and topped with 3 fried eggs
(lubricated in butter)..... Yes, "yummy" indeed! Talk
about optimism! One word - GROSS!
I lost my patience today with a close friend who only wants me to be better - imagine that :-( ...And I'm very sorry, because she cares
deeply about me. I can only say "better" is after treatment-recovery. And now? My body is being broken down on a daily basis and that's
a bit frustrating. I decided on going with a picture of my 1/2 eaten gourmet surprise instead of going into my mouth and capturing a lovely
image there. If I were to do that, you would perhaps notice a patchwork of red dots of assorted size that have now taken up residence.
I'm sure these "dots" will soon blend into one another and create one solid dot. Yes, my taste buds are "toast" ... I have completely lost
my desire for chocolate ... and Diet Pepsi is but a vague memory. Hey.. but I am in treatment, and I am better today than yesterday!
deeply about me. I can only say "better" is after treatment-recovery. And now? My body is being broken down on a daily basis and that's
a bit frustrating. I decided on going with a picture of my 1/2 eaten gourmet surprise instead of going into my mouth and capturing a lovely
image there. If I were to do that, you would perhaps notice a patchwork of red dots of assorted size that have now taken up residence.
I'm sure these "dots" will soon blend into one another and create one solid dot. Yes, my taste buds are "toast" ... I have completely lost
my desire for chocolate ... and Diet Pepsi is but a vague memory. Hey.. but I am in treatment, and I am better today than yesterday!
| Radiation Therapy - DEFINITION: Elective Torture 9/2/08 |
| TODAY - Sunday November 9th - 20th day of Healing "Ditto" |
| September |
Taste is not gone, but horribly distorted. FOOD: one of my deepest pleasures is now a cursed requirement to my recovery. My
APPETITE has completely disappeared. I must force myself to eat. All this in a matter of one week's time. I have guzzled a couple of
"nutrition drinks" today - WARM. Perhaps tasting like goat's milk straight from the source (although I have never sampled, yet I tell
myself that's what I'm doing). Currently I'm nursing a orange creme yogurt (averaging one spoonful every 5 minutes or so). I have
decided against the stomach feeding tube; never liked the idea. My job though now is to maintain my nutrition ( I WILL loss weight). My
weight yesterday - 187 lbs, which is a good base going into this "I hate food" stage. If I can get out of this thing at no less than 175 lbs I'll
be thrilled.
I'm in the middle of my time with the kids, although they are basically on their own. Mike made brownies last night (successfully), Emily
the nuggets for their dinner ... This morning they purchased donuts and then provisions at the grocery store together as I stayed resting
and reclined in base-camp ("old Betsy" / the car). I was OUT and glued to my bed yesterday from 5pm until 6am this morning and feel
that same sense of collapse coming on now.
My throat is very raw, but I am still able to swallow and I am keeping hydrated. Monday is a BIG day, as I begin at 7:30am with a lovely
dose of radiation and then begin my 4th cycle of chemo - next week is a guaranteed pain in the butt!
On a positive note ... <chuckle chuckle> stay tuned ......
APPETITE has completely disappeared. I must force myself to eat. All this in a matter of one week's time. I have guzzled a couple of
"nutrition drinks" today - WARM. Perhaps tasting like goat's milk straight from the source (although I have never sampled, yet I tell
myself that's what I'm doing). Currently I'm nursing a orange creme yogurt (averaging one spoonful every 5 minutes or so). I have
decided against the stomach feeding tube; never liked the idea. My job though now is to maintain my nutrition ( I WILL loss weight). My
weight yesterday - 187 lbs, which is a good base going into this "I hate food" stage. If I can get out of this thing at no less than 175 lbs I'll
be thrilled.
I'm in the middle of my time with the kids, although they are basically on their own. Mike made brownies last night (successfully), Emily
the nuggets for their dinner ... This morning they purchased donuts and then provisions at the grocery store together as I stayed resting
and reclined in base-camp ("old Betsy" / the car). I was OUT and glued to my bed yesterday from 5pm until 6am this morning and feel
that same sense of collapse coming on now.
My throat is very raw, but I am still able to swallow and I am keeping hydrated. Monday is a BIG day, as I begin at 7:30am with a lovely
dose of radiation and then begin my 4th cycle of chemo - next week is a guaranteed pain in the butt!
On a positive note ... <chuckle chuckle> stay tuned ......
| Saturday September 6th - 62nd day of treatment < 3 cycles Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 12 > |
Hallucinated last night - interesting; no return phone call from my oncology pharmacist today . I guess I took the wrong "combo" of pills.
Only saw "things" when I had my eyes open. I took a couple of chances and opened my eyes just to see if the spiders (BIG) were still just
above my head, darting back and forth from the crack. But more unnerving were the spirit like images that were sailing -swirling above
me and I could "feel" them ... hummmm .. I better not, but will say "been there done that", so I was not too shaken. I just said, "bad trip!",
turned on my CD (a sure "night night maker"), closed my eyes and said don't open them again until morning tells you to! Done deal :-)
Stomach has been uneasy these past two days since the delivery of my 4th cycle of chemo. I can tell when I need to take a shot of my
"OIL" Like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. When my stomach "squeaks" it's time to grease it up! The Oil I refer to is a 350 calorie
nutritional drink packed in an 8oz can containing Corn, Sunflower and whatever Oil as its base - then sugar, vitamins..etc - lubing me up!
Only saw "things" when I had my eyes open. I took a couple of chances and opened my eyes just to see if the spiders (BIG) were still just
above my head, darting back and forth from the crack. But more unnerving were the spirit like images that were sailing -swirling above
me and I could "feel" them ... hummmm .. I better not, but will say "been there done that", so I was not too shaken. I just said, "bad trip!",
turned on my CD (a sure "night night maker"), closed my eyes and said don't open them again until morning tells you to! Done deal :-)
Stomach has been uneasy these past two days since the delivery of my 4th cycle of chemo. I can tell when I need to take a shot of my
"OIL" Like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz. When my stomach "squeaks" it's time to grease it up! The Oil I refer to is a 350 calorie
nutritional drink packed in an 8oz can containing Corn, Sunflower and whatever Oil as its base - then sugar, vitamins..etc - lubing me up!
| Wednesday September 10th - 66th day of treatment < 4 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 15 > |
The return of Nadir! Yes, such a lovely low point in one's treatment program. It's the zero energy, flu-like symptoms zone. A time when
you feel down - down - down and for sure just want to stay there and not get up....My throat is extremely raw with what seems now as a
perpetual lump lodged in the back entrance . I remain under the curse of a 95% liquid diet, as food - "real" food, rarely touches my lips.
And on television today; Emeril's deep fat fryer on HSN - shrimp, wings, mozzarella, tator tots..... Then there was this hour documentary
on the best donut places in America. Fast Food commercials over and over and over again everywhere .. Tormenting! ....I'm left to drink
water and "nutritional drinks" for the next couple of months. I will attempt to eat some chicken noodle soup and guacamole with saltine
crackers at my Dad's house tonight as we take in the USC vs Ohio State football game - good luck!
Lucy has been here for the past 3 nights and she's doing great, even though I've been only able to play with her on a very limited basis.
Mom's been a lot of help. The Germans are coming! The Germans are coming! Tuesday is the day - I hope "Mr. Nadir" will be in nice
and quiet by then...
you feel down - down - down and for sure just want to stay there and not get up....My throat is extremely raw with what seems now as a
perpetual lump lodged in the back entrance . I remain under the curse of a 95% liquid diet, as food - "real" food, rarely touches my lips.
And on television today; Emeril's deep fat fryer on HSN - shrimp, wings, mozzarella, tator tots..... Then there was this hour documentary
on the best donut places in America. Fast Food commercials over and over and over again everywhere .. Tormenting! ....I'm left to drink
water and "nutritional drinks" for the next couple of months. I will attempt to eat some chicken noodle soup and guacamole with saltine
crackers at my Dad's house tonight as we take in the USC vs Ohio State football game - good luck!
Lucy has been here for the past 3 nights and she's doing great, even though I've been only able to play with her on a very limited basis.
Mom's been a lot of help. The Germans are coming! The Germans are coming! Tuesday is the day - I hope "Mr. Nadir" will be in nice
and quiet by then...
| Saturday July 12th ( 6th Day of treatment) |
| Saturday September 13th - 69th day of treatment < 4 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 17 > |
All is quiet on the front. Friends from Germany and kids left yesterday and it was back down to Ventura this morning for radiation and
chemo. The past week has been very challenging, with "flu-like" symptoms wrapping around me and holding tight (never getting the
"sweats", a fever or the "shakes", but thinking that it what's coming on). Anyway, I had to bail on some of the group activities, with Carola
and Ralf either on their own or with the kids, as I just could not make it from off the sofa - totally ZAPPED! Continue to find some difficulty
swallowing, but I have been able to get my 6 cans of "liquid life" down and thank God I maintained my weight this week (182lbs)! My
outside sides of my neck are now providing evidence that radiation burns! Very tender, dry and some cracking. My birthday party last
Thursday was a good time (thank you Eric & Kristin for being such wonderful hosts!), although again my energy level was minimal and I
may have moved from my place of honor on the sofa once or twice. Nice entertainment with nephew Trenton providing some guitar and
Emily a beautiful song. <HERE ARE SOME PICS>
chemo. The past week has been very challenging, with "flu-like" symptoms wrapping around me and holding tight (never getting the
"sweats", a fever or the "shakes", but thinking that it what's coming on). Anyway, I had to bail on some of the group activities, with Carola
and Ralf either on their own or with the kids, as I just could not make it from off the sofa - totally ZAPPED! Continue to find some difficulty
swallowing, but I have been able to get my 6 cans of "liquid life" down and thank God I maintained my weight this week (182lbs)! My
outside sides of my neck are now providing evidence that radiation burns! Very tender, dry and some cracking. My birthday party last
Thursday was a good time (thank you Eric & Kristin for being such wonderful hosts!), although again my energy level was minimal and I
may have moved from my place of honor on the sofa once or twice. Nice entertainment with nephew Trenton providing some guitar and
Emily a beautiful song. <HERE ARE SOME PICS>
LOOK
WHO
IS -
WHO
IS -
49!
"Clever
Boy"
| Monday September 22nd - 78th day of treatment < 4 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 22 > |
OK, I'm a little ahead of the game, as today is actually Sunday but I've got the time and tomorrow is a "heavy" treatment day, so I've
decided to be proactive (and it takes me over 2 hours to move everything around on this page, take the pics .. etc.... Had a little "cold"
(sneezes, stuffy nose, etc...) a few days back and now over that - good news, as I really do not want to give up my ability to breath out of
my nose. Just living a day to day playdough brain type of existence ... Seriously, just call me a vegetable .. I have little or no desire to
communicate with anyone. Just feed myself 7 cans of liquid life - keep my weight and let's call it good! I did trim my toe nails and take a
long shower today <pat on the back for that>. Already a bit antsy about welcoming the kids back on Wednesday. I would rather just lock
the world out until this treatment/torture is over with. 3-4 weeks to go!
decided to be proactive (and it takes me over 2 hours to move everything around on this page, take the pics .. etc.... Had a little "cold"
(sneezes, stuffy nose, etc...) a few days back and now over that - good news, as I really do not want to give up my ability to breath out of
my nose. Just living a day to day playdough brain type of existence ... Seriously, just call me a vegetable .. I have little or no desire to
communicate with anyone. Just feed myself 7 cans of liquid life - keep my weight and let's call it good! I did trim my toe nails and take a
long shower today <pat on the back for that>. Already a bit antsy about welcoming the kids back on Wednesday. I would rather just lock
the world out until this treatment/torture is over with. 3-4 weeks to go!
| Burn baby Burn ... That's the tag-line for this series of images. I guess the skin can take only so much HEAT! You can "click" on the pic to get more up close and personal with the radiation and chemo fallout. |
| Monday September 29th - 85th day of treatment < 5 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 27 > |
| October |
Weight: 179lbs - Began taking antibiotics as my throat is rather infected. Weekend was a horrific health adventure - absolutely
miserable. Kids were here and great support. My biggest satisfaction came from cooking most meals for them, including a steak and
chicken stir fry (with veggies too!) that the kids said was "good". My self-control fuse is almost none existent - blew up at my mother this
morning (quite ugly). I'm just out of sorts and it's best not to find yourself in my nasty way.
I have some astringent to apply to my face with cool compresses - then some cream. Yes, face continues to be torn up,
Not a lot if anything to mention positive.
Chemical Wali says that she'd like to have me go through 3-4 more cycles of chemo AFTER radiation ... All about the CURE! I'd like to
think the tumors have had enough and have presently surrendered! DAMN..........
I'm here to tell you people that I am not sociable at all and I am hoping that those who desire more from me will understand it ain't going to
happen anytime soon. Kevin - OUT
miserable. Kids were here and great support. My biggest satisfaction came from cooking most meals for them, including a steak and
chicken stir fry (with veggies too!) that the kids said was "good". My self-control fuse is almost none existent - blew up at my mother this
morning (quite ugly). I'm just out of sorts and it's best not to find yourself in my nasty way.
I have some astringent to apply to my face with cool compresses - then some cream. Yes, face continues to be torn up,
Not a lot if anything to mention positive.
Chemical Wali says that she'd like to have me go through 3-4 more cycles of chemo AFTER radiation ... All about the CURE! I'd like to
think the tumors have had enough and have presently surrendered! DAMN..........
I'm here to tell you people that I am not sociable at all and I am hoping that those who desire more from me will understand it ain't going to
happen anytime soon. Kevin - OUT
| Monday October 6th - 92nd day of treatment < 5 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 32 > |
Home-stretch: Tomorrow is my last day of chemo (end of my 5th cycle) and Friday is my last day of Torture; aka radiation therapy.
Must say I held back most of my dam full of tears in the chemo parking lot this past Thursday when the realization that the end of this 3+
months of treatment is now just around the corner.
We will take another PET scan approximately 3 weeks after the last radiation session and see if we got the cancer or not.
My neck is swollen, numb and blanketed with scabs of all assorted shape, sizes and tenderness. My throat is as constricted as it has
ever been and swallowing is a Challenge. My back, which had been left mostly unscathed by the chemo broke out in a multitude of ripe
little pimples last night; so much so, that just a light rub over the top of them created a wetness that caused my t-shirt to stick to my skin -
lovely!
Must say I held back most of my dam full of tears in the chemo parking lot this past Thursday when the realization that the end of this 3+
months of treatment is now just around the corner.
We will take another PET scan approximately 3 weeks after the last radiation session and see if we got the cancer or not.
My neck is swollen, numb and blanketed with scabs of all assorted shape, sizes and tenderness. My throat is as constricted as it has
ever been and swallowing is a Challenge. My back, which had been left mostly unscathed by the chemo broke out in a multitude of ripe
little pimples last night; so much so, that just a light rub over the top of them created a wetness that caused my t-shirt to stick to my skin -
lovely!
5 Year Anniversary
- Cigarettes
- Booze
- Wife
| "Dissolution of Family" 9" x 12" acrylic on canvas © 2005 KmCarey |
| Sunday October 12th - 98th day of treatment < 5 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 36 > |
One more day! Torture machine was down Monday so I will go in tomorrow for one last ZAP..... I'm ready to heal!
As documented, I have not had the desire to eat solid food for over a month now and of course it sucks, but we humans can adapt and I
just drink my water and Boost on a daily basis and ...... breath .... Somehow I got the cooking bug again and beginning with my last stint
with the kids, have taken much enjoyment out of planning and putting together some fun meals for them - and I've got the PICTURES ..
As documented, I have not had the desire to eat solid food for over a month now and of course it sucks, but we humans can adapt and I
just drink my water and Boost on a daily basis and ...... breath .... Somehow I got the cooking bug again and beginning with my last stint
with the kids, have taken much enjoyment out of planning and putting together some fun meals for them - and I've got the PICTURES ..
| French Toast dusted with powered sugar, Bacon, and Strawberry flowers with Banana and cream. |
| Scrambled Eggs, Sausage links, Hash browns, Hot Cocoa with mini marshmallows and Donuts. |
| Dad - get a life! |
| Emily's Bacon Cheeseburger "plain" with seedless Watermelon wedges |
| We Feast! Baby Back Pork Ribs, Potatoes Au Gratin, Corn on the Cobb and Hawaiian Punch |
| Emily's Dinner. Left-over ribs, Fettuccine Alfredo with Shrimp, Steamed Carrots and Apple Slices |
| Smoothie Time! Strawberries, Bananas, Pineapple Chunks and Juice, Orange Juice, Vanilla Ice Cream and Ice |
| A Boy and his Rib! |
| Dad's Meal (Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner) |
| Mike's Sunday breakfast: Scrambled Eggs (just one), Hash Browns, Bacon, Pork links, Chocolate Donut and Milk |
| Workout Girl!! |
| This is a sneek preview of Em's Halloween theme for this year "Workout Girl" * Still to come * Pink Leggings and Metallic Gold Tennies !! |
| Sunday October 19th - 105th day of treatment < 5 cycles of Chemo / Radiation Sessions - 40 > |
Time to heal now. Of course not happening as fast as would like - but it's happening! Externally my
face and neck are looking much better after shedding countless layers of dead skin. My poor hair is
coming back (was hoping for thick, curly and dark brown but to no avail). My chest and back remain
unsettled, with some skin "break-out" issues. Internally It is much more slow going, as I still have an
uneasy stomach from time to time, experience hand tremors and remain quite raw where the
radiation was focused (mouth, throat and neck). I fantasized about having a pickle yesterday (actually
I fantasized about an assortment of FOOD items) and thought I'd start with a Cherry flavored Popsicle
to test my taste buds. Nope - still not happening! So I'll continue to drink my meals until further notice.
Throat is sore and I continue to generate a lot of mucus, as it seems never ending that I am purging
the thick yellow gunk that oozes relentlessly. I'm sleeping well and have been dreaming! Wasn't
thinking about it, but I had not been dreaming (during sleep time) for months. I do fear that my lymph
tumor is still "alive" .. With my fingers digging into my neck, I can feel a slight mass and there is
tenderness - I hope I am wrong and just paranoid!
face and neck are looking much better after shedding countless layers of dead skin. My poor hair is
coming back (was hoping for thick, curly and dark brown but to no avail). My chest and back remain
unsettled, with some skin "break-out" issues. Internally It is much more slow going, as I still have an
uneasy stomach from time to time, experience hand tremors and remain quite raw where the
radiation was focused (mouth, throat and neck). I fantasized about having a pickle yesterday (actually
I fantasized about an assortment of FOOD items) and thought I'd start with a Cherry flavored Popsicle
to test my taste buds. Nope - still not happening! So I'll continue to drink my meals until further notice.
Throat is sore and I continue to generate a lot of mucus, as it seems never ending that I am purging
the thick yellow gunk that oozes relentlessly. I'm sleeping well and have been dreaming! Wasn't
thinking about it, but I had not been dreaming (during sleep time) for months. I do fear that my lymph
tumor is still "alive" .. With my fingers digging into my neck, I can feel a slight mass and there is
tenderness - I hope I am wrong and just paranoid!
| Radiation Summary DATES OF TREATMENT: 08/20/08 - 10/20/08. SITE OF TREATMENT: Pharynx and bilateral cervical and supraclavicular regions. MODALITY: Intensity modulated radiation therapy with 6 Mev x-rays. DOSE: 7200 cGy in 40 fractions over 61 days |
| Sunday October 26th - 6th day of Healing |
| November |
Throat is sore and I'm not in a great mood about it! How about a NEW pic of Lucy
| Sunday November 2nd - 13th day of Healing |
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